Ramblin' Rover

Oh, there're sober men and plenty
And drunkards barely twenty
There are men of over ninety
Who have never yet kissed a girl
But give me a ramblin' rover
From Orkney down to Dover
We will roam the country over
And together we'll face the world

There's many that feign enjoyment
From merciless employment
Their ambition was this deployment
From the minute they left the school
And they save and scrape and ponder
While the rest go out and squander
See the world and rove and wander
And are happier as a rule

I have roamed through all the nations
In delight of all creations
And enjoyed a wee sensation
Where the company, it was kind
And when barkin' was no pleasure
I've drunk another measure
To the good friends that were treasure
For they always around were mine

If you're bent with arthritis
Your bowels have got Colitis
You're gallopin' with balacitis
And you're thinkin' it's time you died
If you been a man of action
Though you're lying there in traction
You will get some satisfaction
Thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried"